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Stress busters

Do you get stressed a lot? I try not to, but my job is pretty hectic, and sometimes stress just happens. I know when I get a bad stomach ache.

Yahoo had a recent article stating that stress can sabotage your diet; well, I don't have that problem, because my stomach ache keeps me from eating... but I do get stressed, and any stress-relieving tips out there, I'll take.

Here's the article: http://health.yahoo.com/experts/healthieryou/9061/stress-is-sabotaging-your-diet-success/

Some of my favorites tips in the article are:
1) Listening to music. I already do this at work. My faves are instrumentals by Keith Philips, Jim Wilson (both on iTunes). Jim Wilson's "Mon Ami Eternel" is so beautiful, it will bust any stress attack.
2) Using a regular light bulb. The article mentions that adding an incandescent light bulb to your fluorescent bulbs has a real bio-rhythmic effect. I'll have to try that at my cubicle!
3) Exercising. You can't really do this at work, but what I try to do is get up and walk a lot. And, I always take the stairs!
4) Lighting a candle for dinner. Well, you can't do this at work either, very well, but maybe we should try it more often during the week when we sit down for supper?
5) Snuggling with your sweetie. You definitely can't do this at work...but maybe more snuggling during the week would help those corporate America blues!
6) Keeping a journal. My friend does this and has done so every day since 6th grade! Wow! I keep thinking that I don't have time to journal, but maybe the very notion that I don't have time to journal is a sign that I should be!

The article has several more tips. You should take a look.

The article doesn't mention it, but I have heard yoga is a good stress reliever. Who has time for yoga???

Do you have any stress busting tips?

Sunshine Cleaning

Looking forward to a quirky movie that recounts the struggles of an optimistic single mom who doesn't give up, I saw Sunshine Cleaning yesterday. There was definitely a lot of optimism. The single mom, whose life ain't what she dreamed it would be, presses on. She does what she has to. She doesn't give up; and she takes steps to improve herself and the lives of her family. I like these kinds of people!

Her name is Amy. A housecleaner for one of those Minute Maid type of businesses, she is desperate for money to pay for her son's private school. Amy hears that the crime-scene cleanup business is way more lucrative than merely cleaning bathrooms and making beds, and she dives in with the help of her not-so-enthusiastic younger sister Norah. They don't become millionaires by any means, but by elbow grease, perseverance and by bringing a little humanity and hope to the torrid scenes, Amy manages to build up a good little business. There are some funny scenes, some poignant scenes and some terribly sad ones.

While Amy is growing the business, the girl's father is struggling to build up his own selling business all the while teaching his grandson about business "acumen." A favorite scene is where he finally succeeds selling some gourmet popcorn to a reluctant candy shop owner. The grandson plays a critical role here.

There are some unexpected plots in the movie. (It's not all sunshine and optimism.) One of the characters, and I won't say which one, is having an affair. One of the characters smokes pot. There are some flashbacks to the girls' mother who died tragically herself. And, the strangest subplot recounts the strange connection between Norah and a lady who works at a blood bank.

Since I love stories of women who persevere and remain positive no matter what life throws them, I recommend this movie and will see it again when it comes out on DVD.

Thoughts about my mother

My mother died a month ago. What's so strange is that life goes on at the speed of light. You'd think you'd get some time to pause for your mother and ponder her life. But, After a few days off for the funeral, life quickly gets hectic again. Is that good or bad? Probably a bit of both.

Here's what's been going through my mind:

1) The cards, phone calls, emails, and yes, even text messages have made me feel so connected here on earth. I've spoken to people I haven't contacted in years. You don't realize until you've been there how meaningful even a "how are you doing these days?" can be. Going forward, I will be way more attuned to simple acts of kindness toward friends and family who have lost a loved one. In fact, when I was at Walgreens yesterday, I bought two boxes of sympathy and friendship cards, just to be ready.

2) I still tear up, but most of the time it's more emotional tears than sad tears. ANd it goes back to the connection that I mentioned above. It is so touching that people care so much about you when your mother dies. And, it is so heartwarming that my mother touched so many lives. My cousin, for example, wrote a letter and mentioned that his most vivid memories of Mama were that everytime he caught a fish, she would ooh and aah at how wonderful it was. That's the kind of person my mother was: she made you feel so good about yourself. My tears are in a way tears of gratitude because God gave me such an absolutely ideal mother. I didn't deserve her!

3) Back to the connection theme, I have met more people this past month who have parents with dementia or Alzheimer's. Two people at work now keep me posted on what their parents are going through. I never said much at work about Mama just because it didn't seem appropriate, but now it makes me wish I'd been more open.

4) In a way, I had it good with Mama: letting her go was relatively easy because she was so bad off at the end. What would I have done if she'd died suddenly? Ooh, that would have been devastating. (But, for her sake, I wish she had died suddenly.)

These are just random thoughts, but most of what is going through my mind is that Mama's death has made me want to be a better person... to connect deeper with people, to be more compassionate, and to be more like her.

An interesting movie to see

The WSJ had a nice review this morning of the new movie, Sunshine Cleaning. Two sisters (one enthusiastic and the other a lot less so) start an unusual cleaning business: they clean up bio hazardous waste. What appeals to me is the perkiness vs the pessimism between the two sisters. And, their sort-of cranky and reluctant father, played by Alan Arkin, probably injects a lot of opinions in a funny/sarcastic way.

Here's the review: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123689237471111537.html - The reviewer says the movie is a bit contrived at times, but... so is The Sound of Music... and that's one of my favorite movies!

I don't think Sunshine Cleaning will be in the same league as The Sound of Music. Even so, when things die down next week, this movie may just be one that I see at the big screen.

Those little green bags

Those little green bags that keep fruits and vegetables fresh really do work! I bought a pack at Walgreen's on a whim last week and put my broccoli and lettuce in it. The broccoli I expected to stay fresh, but my lettuce is still fresh and crisp! The label says Debbie Meyer Green Bags and I think they cost $9.99.

If you're like me and you buy veggies with the intention of using them within a couple of days, but life gets in the way and before you know it, it's a week later, then get thee to your local CVS or Walgreen's and buy a pack!

Some things I picked up from my mother

to rise and shine - to be optimistic - to enjoy what you have - to appreciate what you have - to be cheerful even when you probably don't feel like it - to trust in God - to "keep your chin up!" - to be grateful - to work hard - to remember your name - to do unto others as you'd have them do unto you - to keep in touch with family - to take care of family - to be generous with what you have - to cry not over spilled milk - to let your house be "lived in" - to bloom where you are planted

to eat it up, wear it out, make it do or do without - to make the dollar stretch - to pay your bills - to travel while you can - to eat a good breakfast - to put on lipstick - to make homemade brownies with cocoa - to watch the weather - to bundle up when it's cold - to speak Pig Latin - to play solitaire - to sew (well, she tried to teach me that!)

I'm still working on some of them!

Positive takeaways during a sad time

My mother's dying, was... how to put it? Well, life changing.

Life changing because so many people were so supportive, generous and caring. There were many hugs at the nursing home the night she died... from nurses to patients. My brother-in-law and his wife provided supper for us that second night; and my cousin and his wife provided dinner the next night. On Monday, my boss told me not to worry about work and to take care of what I needed to take care of. I believe by Tuesday, sympathy cards had already started arriving.

Those first 48 hours, I thought, "Hmm... I should care more about people who have lost loved ones."

At the visitation, I was amazed at all the people who came, especially my cousins from surrounding states: Arkansas, South Carolina, North Carolina and Mississippi. This was the middle of the week too! Two friends of ours in Atlanta even came for the visitation. There were several local people who visited, and bear in mind that Mama had not lived in Columbia since 2002. Of course, anyone who knew Mama liked her! The most touching was the lady from the place where Mama worked parttime as a bookkeeper. She showed up and could not say enough nice things about her. And all the flowers! I was overwhelmed at how many people sent them.

So, after visitation I thought, "Hmm... I should be a nicer person, like Mama." (I wonder how many people would show up at my visitation???)

At the funeral, I firmly grasped heaven being an actual place where my mother is now. Not that I have ever doubted its reality. But when your mother dies and you know she went to heaven, then heaven seems more real. That was one aspect of the funeral that has stuck with me. The other take-away was from the eulogies. My brother gave one  in which he invited us to honor Mama's life by "doing the right thing" at all times, because that's the way my mother lived. My nephew spoke about all the kind things that "Grandma" did.

After the funeral, I thought several things! One: "I'm really looking forward to heaven!" Obviously Jesus and God are there, but having Mama in heaven does make it a little more appealing! (Does that sound bad?) Two: "I'm going to be a better person, to honor Mama." (WWMD: What would Mama do?)

Then, at the luncheon afterwards, which my generous cousins hosted, I was so overjoyed at the number of people who came. We counted off at lunch, and there were 43 people; plus 7 family members came later. Mama would have been happy that we were together. So all during that luncheon, I thought, "Hmm... I'm going to treasure times with family more."

These positive take-aways sure are helping me get through the sadness.